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35 Truisms That Couldn't Be Truer

Lemondrop

35 Truisms That Couldn't Be Truer

There's something magical about getting an email forward you actually enjoy. That's why we had to post this list that just landed in my inbox. These 35 truths just hit the mark, though some -- like when cars line up to block someone from passing on the shoulder or leaving the house looking hot but not seeing your crush -- more so than others.

We've seen a few of these items floating around the Web over the last few days, but we have no idea who wrote it. If you know where it came from, let us know!

1. There is a great need for sarcasm font.

2. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

3. Bad decisions make good stories.

4. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

6. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

7. The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again

8. A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.

9. Was learning cursive really necessary?

10. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

11. Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

12. Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

 

13. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

14. Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

15. What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

16. While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

17. MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

18. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

19. I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

20. Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

21. If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

22. Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

23. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

24. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

25. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

26. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

27. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

28. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

29. I like all of the music in my iTunes , except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

30. Why is a school zone 15 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

31. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

32. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

33. It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

34. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

35. I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact that I was not aware of my condition in college.

Maybe it's time for Facebook to stay OUT of our social lives....

Facebook is finally being called out on the ridiculous SUGGESTIONS of people we need to reconnect with.  For some time now I have been wondering when this was going to happen...  I remember the first time I logged on to facebook and was greeted by the suggestion to add my ex as a "friend":  immediately I began a staring contest with my screen, waiting for the image to disappear, which quickly evolved into a if-looks-could-kill glare when I realized I was not imagining this and Faceook, indeed, had the AUDACITY to suggest I be friends with my ex.  

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!

Thanks for the suggestion, Facebook, but I'd sooner amputate my leg with a plastic butter knife.  Apparently this "suggestion" was based on the fact that we have mutual friends...  NO SH*T!!   They are enough of a reminder of the relationship from hell.  If I ever took Facebook's relationship "suggestions", they should actually revoke my membership on account of the fact that I MUST be VERY unstable...  

However, probably due to my mastery of blocking out ALL things related to my ex-mistake, it wasn't long before Facebook's insulting suggestion had faded from my mind.  Maybe my computer had decided to make it's own candid camera/ PUNK'D episode... I'm SURE the look on my face was reward enough for what could ONLY be a cruel prank.  

Apparently Facebook wasn't done reminding me of my poor choice in dating that guy.  However, when I didn't take their advice, they decided to try a different approach:  MY NEXT BOYFRIEND.   He is a GREAT guy, meaning he not only has NOTHING in common with my ex other than the same friends of mine he now knows, but my ex, being the pathetic excuse  for a guy that he is, also had caused serious problems in my new relationship and even threatened the new man in my life.  Awkward doesn't even BEGIN to explain the feeling when I got the text saying "Soooo...  something really strange keeps happening...  Facebook keep suggesting that I become friends with (SCUMBAG).  I am not dealing with this".   I was speechless.   His name is NOT mentioned between us.  Now this guys was having to look at a picture of my past on his home screen every day.  

So, on behalf of all of the people who have been subjected to these unwanted and inappropriate "suggestions", PLEASE FACEBOOK, leave matchmaking to MATCH.COM.  

(Mashable article)

Text below:

"Facebook, it seems, is falling victim to the insensitivity of the algorithm. The site’s new “reconnect” feature was well-intentioned, I’m sure: Facebook wanted to reunite friends who haven’t connected in some time. This is a noble aim.

Unfortunately Facebook’s algorithms can’t account for some less desirable scenarios: according to Twitter () reports, the site is recommending that users reconnect with ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. It’s recommending they reconnect with their (current) husband or wife. It’s even advising people to reconnect with friends who have died, causing obvious distress. These aren’t isolated cases: there are scores of Twitter reports of these issues.

The new Facebook () is wonderful and I’m thoroughly addicted to the new Live Feed. But please Facebook, take a second look at your Reconnect feature."

 

Tough Times Never Last, but Tough People Do ~ Dr. Robert Schuller

So, today's topic is of a more serious nature than most on this page. As you may infer from the title, I try to highlight the positive aspects - the silver linings, if you will - in this messy, crazy yet BEAUTIFUL life we are all given. Throw in a little ADHD, my quirky sense of humor and, voila!, you have the crazy, beautiful mess that is this page! Yet, while I want this page to be a place people can come to get a laugh or a reminder that this IS a beautiful life we all have been given, it is by that same token that I feel it is incumbent upon me to address some of the harsh realities that effect so many of us. In a way, it is a vicious cycle: trials and adversity tend to yield some of the most inspiring stories, quotations, and movements that serve as shining examples of what the human soul is capable of dealing with. These battles some of us are forced to fight provide the rest of us with proof that we are not only capable of waging that battle, but of doing so with grace and poise. These are some of our unsung heroes and examples of what we should strive to be. At the very least, they are our our mothers, sisters, and, above all, fellow human beings. Yes, we all have our own problems. But, as the Dalai Lama says, "If you wish to experience peace, provide peace for another."

On that note, and in the spirit of October being Nation Breast Cancer Awareness Month, I am attempting to eliminate two of the most common excuses for doing nothing: "I didn't know what to do" or "No matter what I do, I don't have that much time so it won't even make a difference". First, here is an EASY way to do SOMETHING: click on the link above and sign up for reminders. That's right: The Breast Cancer Site will email you to remind you to take two seconds out of your day and click on a pink button. Each time you click it, that tiny, seemingly insignificant action, results in money being donated to support a variety of resources for people who can't afford them and research that could save the life of someone close to you. This site is also a wonderful resource for those who want to make more of a contribution, be it financial or otherwise. You can sign petitions, send cards to friends, encouraging them to get involved or even purchase a variety of merchandise, from which a portion of the proceeds are donated to the cause.

If you want to know of even more ways to get involved, feel free to contact me. Regardless of your interest, I'm very passionate about giving back, when I have had so much given to me. Chances are, if you're interested in getting involved, I can point you in the right direction.

However, I am not writing this in the hopes that you all will quit your jobs and volunteer for the rest of your lives. I'm simply asking you to click one extra button a day to help out someone else.

I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness because it shows me the stars. ~ Og Mandino

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