CrAzY GiRlS

CRAZY GIRLS...


Crazy girls…. I am the first to admit that I am crazy. That’s right. I am one crazy girl. But even I have limits to my craziness. Or, at least, I know when to stop myself before I hurdle the boundary between “crazy bitch” land and “ok, psycho needs to up her meds or go back to the padded room” world. Lately, I keep coming across more and more girls who fall in the latter category.

Normally, I could care less how far off your rocker you are but when your insanity starts to seriously cramp my lifestyle, it gets difficult to ignore. So now I’m wondering, “if I’m crazy, and I cant believe how crazy these bitches are, where did they come from and how did they get soooooo far out there???”… I guess this is easier explained by examples. Ok…


1.) Creepy stalker chicks: they stalk you on Facebook, MySpace, blogs, your friends’ pages, etc and talk about you as either their friend based on info they gather or they use it to report back to an enemy or ex or other stalker to build some f’ed up friendship/relationship. IT’S GETTING REALLY ANNOYING!!!! But, do they stop there??? Oh noooo…. Once you have to go through your entire friend list and weed out all of the possible stalkers, the random friend requests begin popping up. Seriously…. Do you really think that I am going to accept someone as a friend that has no picture, no friends and no profile info??? Try again stalkers!!!! So then you get the idiots that will just request you. Ummmm…. Helllooo????? We have one “friend” in common and I used to date him… Why exactly do you want to be my friends now?? Let me save you the time: Yes, I broke up with him. Yes, if I wanted him back, I’d take him. No, memorizing my profile will never make him care about you the way he did about me. Why? Because you’re pathetic enough to be stalking me on Facebook!!! And you clearly have NO friends… Every girls knows, by now, that you have your friends request the ex’s new chick (if you care…)… I know. I get stuck doing it. Whatever. If you REALLY want to know, ask me. I’ll gladly tell you. Just stop wasting my time!!!


2.) The Ex’s new girls: I have no idea why but the girls my ex’s date after me all HATE me. You would think it is something that I did but this is not hate that builds as they get to know me. They hate me before I even know who they are. If they haven’t seen a picture of me, I might get a few seconds of polite conversation in until it dawns on “the new chick” who I am and she starts to breathe fire. Usually, however, they have already found a picture and have installed some tracking device in my blackberry or some shit. Why do they hate me? I don’t know and I couldn’t care less. If I’m still friends with the ex they’re dating, then he’s probably an idiot for telling them whatever it is that has made them so insecure. Whatever the case is, let me put this out there: I am never second. If I want to be with your man, he wont be your man when I do it. I don’t care what you think of me. I would just advise you to think less about me and more about yourself because you look like a psycho and that’s never cute.


3.) My friends’ girlfriends: I have a lot of guy friends. That’s it. They are just friends. When most of them start dating someone new, I am excited for them and dying to meet the new girl. Same deal with my gfs when they start dating new guys… Chances are that, if I’ve known your new bf since 7th grade and have never been interested in him, that’s not changing now. And, again, I wont be second. If I want him, you’ll know. In the mean time, the insane jealousy and obsession is not cute. A little self-esteem goes a long way. 4.) Girls who are just pulling crazy shit like it’s their job… its not ok to call me and hang up a million times. Sitting in the corner of the club with your two pathetic friends and whispering about my girls and me while we are having fun only makes you look even more pathetic. Trying to talk to me about your new man in a “lets compare notes” way is totally creepy and not cool AT ALL. Checking his phone to see when he calls or texts me and then asking me why or what we talked about is also SOOOO NOT OK… And bbm-ing me from his phone at 5am, pretending to be him is seriously pitiful. (Yes, all of the above have happened in the last 3 weeks). I could go on but I’ve wasted enough time… If you’re that insecure about your relationship, that’s a problem you need to deal with with your man. Either way, I want no part in your crazy world. PLEASE leave me alone and find something else to talk about. In other words…. FIND YOUR PRIDE!!!